Why I hate the grocery store.

10) ...Spandex is a privledge not a right Bitch, if I wanted to see your ass cheese I would simply ask. Thank you for inspiring me to work even harder at not being you in 10 years. I realize that the only time you have to go grocery shopping is between jazzercising and junior's soccer practice but the least you could do is keep an extra set of sweats in the car to cover up in. I just said No to lunch today. (Gross)

9) ...The annoying little fucktard who stares at me everytime I walk in...well not just me but anything with tits (even mama jazzercise). You need to get out more son. Studying for the GED has got to be tough but every once in a while spice up your life and head back out to the playground. I'm sure they remember you...

8) ...The middle-aged man who always elbows me in the salad bar line. For God's sake man, chill out. I promise I will not take all the hard-boiled eggs or even drop a green pepper in the cheese, just quit with the ovary jabs. The lady comes to re-stock every 4.3 minutes during lunch, there is no need to prevent me from having babies some day because you are rude and impatient.

7)...The wanna-be yuppie bitches that pick up every single sushi case agonizing over which case looks the best. Hello? Is somebody in there? YOU ARE BUYING SUSHI AT DOMINICKS!!!! Stop trying to be pretentious.

6)...The mulleted check out lady. I hate you. You hold up the line by blabbering to every single customer like they give a shit about your cat or your hemroids. We do not care. We are there to purchase food not listen to you whine. Also, I dont care if you like what Im eating, I didnt ask for your opinion.

5)...The other mulleted check out lady. You are almost as bad as the one above, but you at least try to comb your mullet and make yourself presentable to 2005. I like your gold hoops too so that just gives you hella brownie points above Sue. (I seriously hate Sue.)

4)...Rotisserie Chicken. Enough said.

3)...The serious lack of Baked Lays. Whattheshit? Those are my favorite chips and you refuse to carry small bags of them. You will carry flaming hot cheetos in small bags, but not baked lays? That is a big FUCK YOU to the Dominicks in LB.

2)...People who leave their empty carts in a parking spot. I have to get out of my car, move your cart, and then park, holding up at least 3 other cars while I do this. I seriously hope your car is the next car I "accidentally" hit with a shopping cart asshole.

1)...Seeing my grandma at the grocery store. I can't stand her. She freaks me out. I hate the grocery store because I always fear I will see her there. When I do see her, I really do run. She has seen me do this. I pretended, when she called later, that I got my period. I was almost done shopping too. Bitch, why did you have to move to my town???