Why I wont use the "Ladies" Room at work...

10) Apparently I got some bitches who stand when they pee where I work because I find drops of urine all over the place. On the seat, on the floor, on the stall wall, next to the toliet, dried on the side of toliet, on the front of the tank....these are not women, they are animals.

9) Ladies, and I use this term very loosely, leaving large bowel movements in the toliet without even thinking of giving it the initial flush. (These are bowel movements that take at least 2 if not 3 flushings.) First off ladies dont poop, let alone drop bombs, but they especially aren't supposed to be proud enough to put their crap on display for the rest of the ladies to find. Holy Gross Batman.

8) Dried boogers on the stall wall. I wish I was lying. Seriously, there is toliet paper to your right and you have the gaul and audacity to pick your nose and wipe it where other people are forced to stare at it? (Not only is there tp to dispense your snot in, but the femine waste basket is on the right of you, you lazy apes.) I give you props though for not picking your nose in front of me. At least you did it behind closed doors you pig.

7) Skids. I know that you eat fried food everyday whether it be in the form of MacDonalds, Taco Bell, Popeyes, Scooters...whatnot...but your dumps are soooo bad that they leave skids every single solitary day? Cant you just keep flushing till these skids dissapear? No, I realize that would take some courtesy and effort on your fat asses part.

6) I get it. I really do. Some ladies just dont give a fuck about maintaining their pubic region. But if your pubes are so long and plentiful that they shed all over the floor and toliet seat, could you please take some scissors, or a weed whacker, and trim that up so the rest of us don't hurl when we walk into a stall? The last thing I want to see, well besides your massive deuce and skids is you knappy pubes. The 1970's called, they want their bush back.

5) Most people don't mind or are used to the smell of their own fecal matter. I however, mind the smell of your feces. I purchase lysol and yet you refuse to use it. I frequently walk down the hall where the bathrooms are and spray the hell outta the hallway because you cows cant spray your shit stench away. Thank you for making me suffocate on the smell of lysol and your ass.

4) The ladies who converse while dumping are absolutely apalling. Its although you are not at all embarassed of the ungodly sounds that are exiting your bodasciously ginormous body and the smell that you are producing seeping through the stall and the door to the hallway. Yet, you chat as though you are making coffee together. How dare you carry on as though you arent making the rest of us totally naseous.

3) The serious lack of handwashing. I know who you are. Stop it, just stop it. It takes 30 seconds to wash your hands. Youre nasty.

2) The smell of dirty vagina. I have never smelled beasts worse than the combination of like 7 of you. You all get your rag at the same time and even just walking by where you sit makes me want to throw myself out of the window. How is it that you cannot smell yourself? The bathroom is 2 stalls big, surely you can smell your odor in there. If you only knew how bad you smelled you would stop placing your dirty pons in the femmy wastebasket and flush those toxic fuckers.

1) The lack of toliet sheaths makes me so sad. It saddens me so much that I cannot even bear to use the "ladies" room. I hold my pee until I get home or go to lunch for fear of being touched by a pube, seeing a left-over Huxtable drop-off, having the dirty vagina stench stick to me, looking at dried boogers, or having to step around pee droplets.

I just threw up a little in my mouth.